01.10.2003 - 1:36 p.m.

People are strange, when you're a stranger, faces seem ugly, yada yada yada

A while back, friends and I were trying to fathom the strange behaviour of a member of our little clan, he wasn't overtly mad, but he never seemed to see things the way the rest of us did, whether he was just being difficult I'll never know, but the upshot was we did work out why some people never seem to be in the same reality as the rest of us.....

Everyone is surrounded by a bubble. This bubble is permeable to gases, light, matter etc. but the bubble is only partially permeable to perceived reality and the thickness of the skin of the bubble distorts reality as it crosses it, rather like light going though a prism. The person on the inside will therefore get a new version of reality than that which initially struck the bubble, and the thicker the bubble, the more reality is distorted.

This explains why some people always seem a bit confused by ( what seems to the rest of us ) perfectly normal and rational events, it's not that they're really really stupid, it's just that the kaleidescopic shower of splintered reality that's raining down on their senses is too confusing. Poor things.

I'm gradually working towards another random collection of survey questions, but until then, here's one for clubbers :

The morning after a night out with the little 'uns, you're in the shower scraping the layer of filth off your body, obviously you're still a bit shot away, if you listen, can you hear the music being generated from the noise of the water as it's filtered by your brain into usable tunage ?

After a few years clubbing you start hearing music all the time ( well I do anyway ) example - Cross-channel ferries = loads of bass. My brain can usually generate music from anything including but not limited to the central heating, showers and gas fires.

Last night, I've got Monkeyball on downstairs, quite loud. I've gone upstairs for a shower, my room is over the lounge, I can hear the plinky plonky loop music of the game except the floor of my bedroom has filtered it into driving hard house. I went downstairs just to make sure no-one else was in and playing music but they're not, I'm all alone, I check the lounge and it's the same plinky music, but back in my room it's proper dance music. I repeated this a coupla times to make sure but the truth is out, the floor of my bedroom is a trancefloor ! or possibly the ceiling of the lounge is a tranceceiling, or maybe my house is made of trancewalls with trancebricks and trancestudding and a tranceroof.

Never the less, I'm surrounded by sweet sweet music 24/7, woo hoooo.

Saw Mr Blair giving his opening speech, almost immediatly it was noticable that he's turning into Bush Jnr, his hair was Bush-like ( not bush like as it used to be ) the structure of his speech was Bush-like, the way he paused between sentences ( soundbites ) and the length and construction of the sentences were the same as Bush uses, and the actual words he was using were more Bush-ish, even his make-up seemed more professional.

Maybe he's got an ex-Bush speechwriter/makeup artist combo or he's getting stem cells from Bush injected into his spinal column to make him more like Bush over a gradual period of time, it's not a bunch of algerian terrorists we should be worried about it's those aerosol cans full of 'essence of Bush' that his acolytes are spraying around the major european cities that are gradually turning all of us into idiots, a thousand years hence imagine Planet of the Apes, but with less apes and more Bush's.

Scary

I'm mainlining 'essence of jeremy paxman' at the moment for immunisation purposes.