13.10.2010 - 3:29 p.m.

In the course of my daily trawl through the internet, i'm frequently presented with articles lifted out of the right-wing reactionary scare rag the Daily MFail, i don't read the Fail as a matter of principle, but like rubbernecking at a fatality, sometimes you just have to take a peek if only to confirm that their readership is solely comprised of terrified baby boomers and angry conservatives from where they obtain all their opinions which they can then regurgitate parrot-like to anyone who'll listen.

Wednesday's moral panic comes in the form of cheese, unfortunately not the delicious product of milk, bacteria and calf innards. Cheese this time is the unlikely name given to paracetamol and heroin, which is pretty much the shittest drug combo i've ever encountered. Now i'm not niaive when it comes to substances, but i was massively perplexed as to the supposed active role of paracetamol in this product, luckily the Fail was only too happy to provide the details so i could look out for it in my own children or family members before immediately shopping them to the fuzz.

Soon it was clear that this wasn't a diabolical new twist to get our innocent offspring hooked on drugs and satanism (well ok, drugs maybe), it's dealers cutting heroin with the cheapest possible substance and selling it cheap to kids who are generally too stupid to know any different, because when your product only contains about 5% heroin you can afford to flog it for $2 a dose and still make enough to buy all those things unscrupulous dealers love to buy.

I did love the part where they say that a dose lasts for 6 hours so to avoid withdrawal you need fifteen doses a day and it can be snorted in between classes making it the perfect drug for inner city public school kids. So in noo york a day apparently lasts for over three days, which somewhat flies in the face of a noo york second which i read once is the time between the traffic lights turning green and the car behind you leaning on his horn.

They helpfully include a quote from a father of a dead child who had already been addicted to heroin (the kid not the dad), saying that 'parents need to be scared of this stuff', as well as satanism and liberalism and gays and muslims and teenagers and black presidents and everything else fine upstanding christian parents should be scared of. It's this kind of penetrating journalism that's doing us proud and advancing society forwards to a better place.

And is symptomatic of everything that's wrong with pretty much everything today, when britain went to war with china to make them buy our opium were we thinking of the children, i think not and yet somehow chinese society didn't collapse. This all boils down to natural selection, if someone can't control themselves either through willpower or informing themselves through increased education, whatever that may entail, then they are likely to remove themselves from the genepool.

Given that the genepool is more diverse now than at any time in human history due to our mastery of potions and surgery keeping alive those who would otherwise be naturally selected against, there's a huge amount of potential in potentia so if a small number of peeps select against themselves we've not really lost much in the grand scheme.

And while the 'war on drugs' continues its dreadfully ironic and carefully manipulated stalemate nothing's going to change, ever. It's obvious that the main driving force behind the scenes are the cartels (via a multitude of lobbyists, special advisors and sponsored 'think tanks') themselves as they are the primary beneficiaries behind the 'war on drugs'. The second beneficiaries are the quasi-political people operating the war on behalf of the thankful government, who in turn receive huge amounts of government cash handouts to fund their war, but even these are sofa-change compared to the amount the cartels receive from inflated prices on the streets.

As long as we're all distracted by shiny things (ooo new iphone this year) while shaking our heads at the sad state of 'broken' youth today, the big stuff going on that never gets questioned will carry on regardless because too many people near the top profit greatly from it, don't change what ain't broken if it means you can keep making payments on that yacht you've got moored in the bahamas.

Shame we don't live in a democracy really.

I re-discovered a SouthPark episode called 'Major Boobage' which apart from being one of their finest creations also features people 'cheesing' to get high. In this case 'cheesing' refers to getting a face full of cat urine which then induces a full-on heavy metal and breasts orientated fantasy hallucination based on a canadian animated film from the early eighties.

The episode highlights all the stupid fad (and fake) 'highs' that were present in the hysteriamedia at the time and i'm sure that somewhere someone subsequently received a face full of cat urine in a poorly thought out attempt to get high. Stupid bastards, a little ignorance goes a long way, i'd love to witness someone trying it though, i imagine feline urine in the eyes really really stings.