05.11.2010 - 4:54 p.m.

Big vets bills this month, not singular weighty invoices, but with five nominals requiring routine attention it all adds up, and with one of the five being naughty and causing us frights that lead to the out of hours vet for checks and calls to poison control and associated wallet rapage means we're all cleaned out. Another three weeks until the next wage arrives. Poo.

And the next smug person who ascends their haughty step ladder and utters the phrase

"oh well, we've had pet insurance for Fluffles since day one and they've been maaaarrrrvelous, we've not had to pay for anything"

And then you ask them about the annual boosters and vaccinations

"ah well yes, they're not covered, but.."

And how many times has Fluffles jumped from a second floor window ?

"well luckily she hasn't done that"

So you're really telling me you're paying a premium monthly, which is good thing on the face of it, on the off chance Fluffles does dive in front of a car sometime in the future ?

"yes, well they are maaaarrrvelous and very helpful"

And how many pets do you own ?

"well, just Fluffles, with Marjories allergies we couldn't get more than that, and Fluffles really belongs to our daughter Chrysanthajamiima, we just feed, muck out and pay for her existence here"

So, just hypothetically if you had five or six animals and thus five or six times the montly premium, would you still be so smug ?

"well i'm always smug, but no we wouldn't have five animals, i'm not paying 150 squid a month on the off chance one of them does something silly"

Thankyou

At least i'm getting a few weekends of tree work at the moment which is off-setting the furry drains a little. Although last weekend was conducted mostly in the pouring rain, digging out buddleia stumps which was almost amusing, provided J had been there to admire my beautiful physique rippling inside a tightish, soaking wet, armless t-shirt (I'm not sure where wife-beaters end and vests begin, besides i'm not the type to rock a wife-beater (or a vest), so armless t-shirts they are named, always good to keep your pits free when working hard to prevent unsightly sweat stains down the side of the garment)

This weekend involves fitting a burgliar alarm, i'm glad they invented wireless alarms so i'm freed from having to route wires hither and thither throughout the house, stupid wires. There's been a spate of scallyish behaviour in our neighbourhood and the wider area, i'm sure this happens all the time but lately it's happened to people we know so the frighteners have been placed on us, at least we had the shitty old windows replaced recently so we're more secure than we were two months ago.

I'd like some kind of laser burner attached to a scanner to cut up intruders as they wander through our house, or cattleprods in the ceiling, too high to reach floor bound cats but enough to shock a human in the brain as they wander under it looking for passports and jewellery, bastards.

Enough, home now for cuddles (yay) and a friday night tesco run (boo)