16.06.2009 - 3:21 p.m.

despite having stuff to write i seem to be unable to type any of it down, i can only put this down to being incredibly lazy with a smattering of apathy, does it really matter, does anything matter, do i matter, on noes here comes teh emoetry

rain falls, cold
into my dark heart, black
my love flees, running
watch out for that plank, smack

i just can't take emo poetry seriously, as per my previous post there's too much to be happy about. If you can still be depressed while lying on the floor with eight baby rabbits eating carrot sticks sitting on your torso then it's time to amend your meds intake, try kissing the rabbit sat on your throat, feel better now ?

We've been issued with pandemic management instructions, 'cos y'know, nothing says we're taking the panic seriously like having a steering group and functional authority. I tried pointing out that if you give in to health bullies then they'll have power over you forever, but my schoolyard analogies fell flat. I saw the ultimate irony on tele (or possibly the webs, it was a news programme in any case) last week where they bemoaned the media hype in April / May as setting an inaccurate baseline of the actual danger posed. I laughed so hard that a piece of pasta from my throat was expelled violently enough to go through the wall and killed my neighbour, i feel no remorse, he was killed as a consequence of swine flu.

Until such time as i actually contract H1N1 i'm going to laugh, then i might be a bit ill for a couple of weeks and then, fresh with my new antibodies i'm going out into the town and will travel on public transport all day letting people know in a subtle manner that i'm virally hot, just to see their faces, while laughing.

One place i've been spending a lot of time recently is englishrussia, there's over 200 pages of stuff to look at which occupied a few of my working days, and has given me a fresh appreciation of russia, so that's another place to visit when i'm rich and wealthy and can do it in comfort. One of the articles features these inventive chaps who appear to have taken the internals from a phone camera and put them into a headset, just set to 'solarize' for that instant 60's feel. Hopefully it'll only be a year or two before a mass produced version comes out, smaller, lighter, cheaper, i'll wear one all day everyday just to make the world more interesting, magic.

As long as various governments are still filling the post of drug czar (i bet they don't have one of those in russia) then the hollow laughter will ring out from the population decrying the outdated and fearful attitude of aforementioned government. I saw a link to some chap who's collated lots of posters advertising caning (canering?) for the middle classes in times past. Saying that, even in the seventies they were prescribing barbiturates to kids, and now ritalin is likely the most prescribed drug given to kids worldwide, doesn't it make you proud to know that our pharmaceutical industry is keeping us safe, because it cares so much.

no really, it DOES care, otherwise why would they make the pills to save us from ourselves ?

Anyway it's too late for us to save ourselves, all we can do now is wait for the rapture to free the worthy, i for one look forward to working with our new, rapture sourced overlords. One good outcome of this is the number of people profiting from the rapture-ready crowd. It's clear the fools would only otherwise send the cash to some snakeoil soaked mega church, so it's essentially already wasted money, why not invest in a post apocalyptic mail service so you can laugh from beyond the veil at your hell bound relatives for their lack of foresight in accepting jeebuz as their lord and master.

Even Coke, who know how to make money from fools have got a partnership at the creation museum in shitcreek KY, lord god almightly in partnership with coca cola presents earthly paradise 2.0. Your 200 dollar donation will guarantee yourself a place in eden after the unworthy are cleansed.

i luckily bought myself a few pairs of rapture-proof shorts which i wear every day just in case judgement passes while i'm at work, with these pants of power the angels' horns will not penetrate my coporeal being, i'll be able to wander round offering advice to those who sorely need it, i may even go up and visit St Peter, i obviously won't get past the pearly gates (Oi, no trainers) but i can shoot the breeze with Big P for a bit before returning to an earth now free of evangelical twats and their seemingly irrational hatred of everything.