04.05.2010 - 5:07 p.m.

I'm unable to move for the screaming tide of magnolia tempered bullshit flowing from out from my tv screen, it's true that there's still a proportion of this generated by the most hated of all creations, the advertisement, but lately the sizeable segment is now fulfilled by all things electoral. We're treated over and over and over courtesy of rolling 24hr news to the same footage of besuited sociopaths wandering around warehouses and public spaces of the like they've never walked through in their lives, shaking the hands of either simpering acolytes desperate for human contact or rent-a-mobs pushed to the barriers specifically for the sociopath to grab one of their limbs to shake to give him something to do while tiny red lights all around him (and it's always a him) record the banality to be looped over a ticker tape of interesting stuff happing elsewhere on this giant and ultimately, very interesting planet.

i have already voted, but draw the comparison with having old and slightly wrinkled satsumas left in the fruit bowl, you know you have to eat them and once you get through the skin you also know it'll be internally wrinkled and not very juicy, but dammit, i don't buy food to throw it out, so they get eaten out of duty rather than a desire to eat. The outcome is the same as if you'd thrown them out, no citric satisfaction here, you also don't get a choice in a Plutocracy, whichever choice between the only contenders, Bland A, Bland B and exciting outsider Bland C, all you know is that the plutocracy / plutonomy will continue, yay for continuity.

As a subsection of this tripe we've come to learn chilling (and useless) facts about the country

1) bigoted old northerners have no problem being bigots but prefer people they've never met to address them by their names
2) some people will actually crash their car when exposed to high levels of tackyministerialphotoshootium in a tragic bid to kill themselves rather than feign any interest
3) sociopaths aren't very nice people
4) politicians will say anything but the truth, it's probably believed in Whitehall that if you actually said the unvarnished truth of a situation to a voter their heads would explode
5) career politicians fill the void where their souls should be with whatever the media tells them to do at that moment in time, even if it contradicts prior media instructions

Just like when the UK gets knocked out of the foot-the-ball world cup in the early stages (a delicious moment for me), i can't wait for all this shite to be over and let the faux media hysteria give way to the endless re-hashing and talking heads masticating past events over and over until all the flavour has been chewed out of it, then there'll be every opinionated 'expert' trying to make events that happened fit in with their own personal premonition of what should have happened and in the process make themselves look like Prophetic fucking Timemasters. It would be more dazzling to come out and say these things before they happened, being able to see into the recent past is not a special gift, in their case, not choking on their tongue also counts as a special gift.

On the subject of getting politicians to just shut-the-fuck-up, alot of hard right repugnantican senators and lobby groups have gone very silent on the 'drilling for oil in untouched waters' issue, all through last year you couldn't move for them clamouring to 'open up' (possibly 'split wide open for an ecotasmagorical raping') other areas of the Gulf of Mexico and Beaufort Sea to get at that lovely lovely oil, and now it's floating towards them in a manner by which you can just scoop it up with a bucket they've stopped shouting, how funny. It's almost as if they know they're making a immoral decision based on a monetary kickback, and now one of their mates (BP) has been metaphorically caught with his hand in the till the rest are all looking at their shoes and whistling and absolutely not shouting about new drilling rights, it's almost as if they're scared about a negative media backlash which might hurt the obscenely large payments the oil lobbies give them.

As the days float by, like an oily pelican, new tidbits of 'news' come out / are leaked, it seems that Halliburton "The most loveliest not evil company in the world" were involved at the time of the spill and were possibly working on the rig that exploded and sank. I would imagine it exploded and sank from the collective vicarious shame once it realised who was working on it. Sounds very much like BP are going to sue the fuck out of Halliburton at some point in the future, but as Halliburton is backed by the US mint i don't think it'll be a problem for them to settle, boy i wouldn't want to be an american tax payer at that time...

Although the amount of tax Halliburton actually pay to the US government would probably just cover the cost of a couple of icecream cones, that's some nice tax avoidance schemes there Lou.

Of course there're oil spills of this magnitude all the time in the Niger delta, but as there's only africans involved in those ecological disasters the western media don't give a fuck, because hey, if it's not happening to us or involving a missing white girl, it ain't news brother.