26.07.2005 - 9:44 p.m.

Here�s some pics I�ve had lying around which sort of prove that my continuing eddycashun isn�t a complete waste of time, the first harks back to easter when I did my felling assessment, ooooo I can tell you, like a raver in a bankvault I was proper safe, the HSE would�ve been proud of me.

This was my first fell, an eighty foot larch, quietly minding it�s own business (telecommunications usually) I present to you,

No.12 The Larch

The Larch

tiny cameras don�t allow for much perspective but it was a tall tree and as wide as I was allowed to touch being a novice. About twenty five minutes after I walked up to the tree it looked like this,

The saw is placed halfway down the tree and is about two feet long, the tree cleaned up nicely and everyone was impressed, things also got progressively harder from there on.

This also impressed me in that the tiger thinks it�s a pig, it was raised by pigs and surrounded by pigs and with a little fake fur can�t tell a pig from a large stripy pig with four inch incisors.

one, two, three, aaaaaaaaaaaa, innit cute. We�re not sure if the pigs naturally sleep like that or if they were placed for the photo, either way everyone looks contented for the moment.

On the way in to work this morning i saw a texaco fuel bowser merrily making his way around town, and upon the side of the truck was emblazoned the words 'Conquest Oil' I assume this refers to a sub-division of Texaco, but could it be a thinly veiled joke about Texaco's prospecting methods ?

Hmmm, the words Texas, Conquest and Oil all in one place, whodathunkit ?

I tried looking up Conquest Oil in google but can only find references to oil filters and that an environmental clean-up company that was sold to Conquest after the original owner was fined for an act of deliberate pollution regarding waste water.

Also last night, i had one of the top five dreams of my entire life, i can't even begin to communicate the complexity, storyline or beautiful cinematic sequences, but it was a bit like Spirited Away, but done by Spielberg and briefly featured Fox Mulder and a whole host of spirits / ghosts / alternate energy beings.

I got to see a completely new view of heaven and hell which in itself was pretty neat and there was more that was hinted at but I wasn't able ( or priviledged ) to see. And the best thing was that after a 3am waz at which time the dream came to an abrupt end i was able to rejoin the same dream ( although it felt like a sequel because the first part was portrayed as a film ) and i got more and more images and storyline and it still featured the same cutesy spirits, and this time i was able to glimpse the bits that were hinted at in part one before the alarm went off.

bloody alarms bring forth the sleep machine to keep me asleep, i'll happily volunteer for any trials, wake me every 24 hours for food and water but otherwise leave me zedding.

Alternately, someone make a video screen that can display / record what i'm seeing while dreaming, or as a third idea have a device that allows you to bring another person into your dream so they can experience it too.

J tends to have scary or frustrating dreams where she's running or bound up in events with no escape route, i know these are related to insecurities and fears manifesting themselves but just for once i'd like to give her a slice of fantasy which she can relax into and enjoy as I do.

I can't be the only person who has these night-time celluloidish viewscapes, can you imagine the ability to record dreams along with file-sharing and the internet ? happy-slapping would instantly die a thousand deaths as people post and trade dream-vids instead......

(sigh) until then i guess i'll be the only one to benefit, shame really.