16.09.2010 - 4:03 p.m.

I had planned (and started) a full on rant about the incredible dress wearing bullshit conveyers thrusting themselves in the UK at the moment based on some gobbledegook a sycophantic acolyte vomited into the word processor of a BBC reporter (if you want to shake your weary head the vomit can be found here). But in the face of what might possibly be literally trillions of hyperbolic column inches in the paperpress saying exactly the same things but with less usage of the following words,

scat-mongers
intolerant bigots
cunting hyposhites
anally fixated innocence rapers

i gave up, no point in rehashing stuff i've already divulged here previously (i'm not linking to it though) from the burbling drain that is my brain, besides, the vatican is more than capable of providing it's own bad press

every

time

they

open

their

damn

whore

mouths

assuming they're not opening their mouths just to insert an altar boys dick.

I also think the UK is like a third world country, but in a good way, not just because we're happy in our louche secularism, the only thing we're missing here is evangelical christian US combat troops with bible quotes tattoo'd on their arms and stamped on their weapons 'keeping the peace' (i.e. shooting civilians) and herds of goats eating rubbish from steaming open landfill, although certain areas, mostly surrounding the arse end of corby are not greatly dissimilar.

Mind you it would be a german who said those choice words, the older ranks of anti-semitic nazi sympathisers hiding away in the pogrom advocating haven that is the vatican have never forgiven or forgotten the drubbing received at the hands of the godless liberal allies, when we had the chance we should have rolled right through rome and 'accidentally' shelled the shit out of the vatican, found the records detailing their swiss bank accounts, hoarded gold and stolen art and emptied the lot.

At some point in the dark future, when the earth's orbit has been extensively militarised to neutralise the threat of chinese global domination, it'll be a piece of cyber-cake to hack NATO's computers to launch an orbital borne kinetic penetrator (even with safesearch switched off, google didn't return one porn image with the term 'kinetic penetrator', i was a little disappointed) into rome and take out the stinking nest of santorum caked, gold plated marble in one swell foop.

It's good to see that normal sized women have finally been used in a mainstream fashion show even if they're all confined to one show on one day, i guess they don't want to make the strung-out bone hags jealous back stage in the dressing area of the fact that the real women can eat and enjoy real food as opposed to just coffee, cigarettes and heroin. I'm sure they would be been used earlier were it not that most designers are gay men who see the stick thin models as acceptable physical surrogates for teenage boys, i imagine they're not too comfortable around women with actual feminine bodies, whereas in reality you want curves darling not corners, a woman comprised of straight edges and corners just isn't attractive.

And she's also likely to have your eye out if she turns round too quickly.

The stupid fucks i work with have just designated that i'm actually the office secretary, i advised them that it'll be a cold day inside a hot cup of coffee before i start shaving my legs and i ain't wearing skirts and suspension just to conform to their homoerotic fantasies, man legs should never be placed into stockings that's why we have women. Besides just because they are (in order of descending seniority) sex starved cuckold to a vicious harriden and almost divorced celibate closet inhabiter respectively doesn't automatically make me the junior because i married the right woman and am now held in the loving rapture of a decent bosom (with legs that look great in stockings)

The telling part is that even if the headcount and workload allowed it there's no way we could get a woman to work (or at least stay) in this office under the existing circumstances unless she'd previously served time in the russian paras, in which case she'd probably drop kick the production supervisor the first time he vented yesterdays dinner's overpressure. Actually seeing him getting his arse handed to him by a lady para would be the first truly worthwhile youtube thing i'd have ever seen.

The facilities manager originally started down here, sat where i am now, but he being a man of advancing years couldn't stand the juvenility and moved to a spare office in the main building, pussy.

I ought to get on and finish the real work i started yesterday, but somehow i just don't feel like it, it's nice to have the choice though, but my deadline isn't until the end of this year so it's not like the pressure is overwhelming and now that it's after 3pm there's no chance i can motivate myself. I need to find some fresh stuff on the interwebs to interest.

ha ha, stumpy production supervisor fucked up made the wrong product last night which we've now already loaded into the tanker currently sat on the weighbridge, cue much chaos and gnashing of teeth. Dozy twat failed at multiple points to see what was really required, luckily i know the customer well from my time in sales, this combined with my smooth, calming, voice of persuasion they've agreed to take what we've loaded and we'll give them the right stuff early next week.

Production supervisor is now the recipient of a metric shitload of abuse for the forseeable future.

I can't believe they thought throwing george michael in jail is a punishment, he'll next be found half dead with a chocolate bar up his arse, a spokesman will say it's a careless wispa.

Arf