05.03.2004 - 12:12 p.m.

Faster than a synergising paradigm.

I got home this morning to a house warmer than J's which is a rare thing and a sure sign that No.11's girlfriend is in da house. ( the other, more definite sign is that her car was parked outside but there are some things I choose to ignore ) I'm not a lover of hot houses, anything over 16.c I start getting uncomfortable and from then on I can feel my internal temperature creeping up until I start sweating at which point I have to take my shirt off and stand outside for a bit. The only exception is in the two hours after I wake up, the transitional state from sleep(duvet) to wake(clothing) is fraught with draughts and general chillyness, maybe if I had more ( or any ) fat on me it wouldn't be so noticeable but I haven't so I do.

Random memory time - My first night in germany ( ever ) visiting a mate @ Uni there, was spent at a student party tripping my ( our collective ) nuts off, a large part of the time was spent sat on the edge of a sandpit in the cool summers air marvelling at the pretty colours and talking shite between us and with random people around us, I had my shirt off then as well and was mostly wreathed in a gently twisting cloud of steam, a bit like ghosts escaping from my skin. I also remember some hard, loud german bird who was opening bottled beers first with a handy fag lighter trick and later with her teeth, nutty.

Das Haus ist full mit dvd's of Southpark and season 4 Futurama, never have so many laughed for so long at so little, so screw you guys, I'm going home. I'm pretty sure that once I have a web page that supports sound and video I'll fill it up with stolen southpark material.

I have now found that my humour is defective, it used to work under any conditions and I could guarantee ( more or less ) that it could generate laughs for any occasion, a large amount of the even slightly funny stuff in the older entries was years old before I posted it in d-land. It seems now that I can only be reliably mirth making in the middle of a conversation, the muse of solo mirth hath deserted me, as has the muse of irreverance, I feel naked already.

Time was I could include the words - Parrot , Cylon , Sword , Pineapple and Sheath into any combination and it would be instantly funny, but it looks like I have to accept my time is up.

Here's something that's both suggestive and natural in one go :

And here's a Matrix related visual gag for all you sad geeks out there :

Can you see how empty my life is ? I'm resorting to leaving weak comments next to innocent pictures of cats and rocks as a temporary stand-in for actual talent. If I was photogenic ( I'm not fuck-ugly but there's only a handful of photos that don't make me look like a freak ) I could take pictures of me in humourous poses and have other people write funny captions to them, but that ain't gonna happen ( not yet anyway ).

Until next time amoeba's, stay fluid and no mutating triploblastic bodies, you have been warned.