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19.01.2009 - 4:49 p.m.

Lately i've been getting robo-calls at work, i patiently listen to the bull-shit and then i press '2' to respond, i then end up talking to some tiny penis somewhere in the country, when i told him that i returned a robo-call trying to sell me bankruptcy advice and why were they doing this he called me a dick, i then advised him that it was his company that had called me and he said 'no i didn't'

No, you fuck wit, i've just pressed '2' to be connected to a spiv, so you've clearly called me first as i am here having returned your soulless summons

no we didn't

In the end i just called him a scally cunt and hung up, next time i'll change my strategy and pretend to be a man on the edge of insolvancy and in the pit of despair, desperate for someone to throw me a line of salvation in the form of a ruined credit history, make some shit up and see how long i can keep them talking, i reckon once i can get their phone number and my own autodialer software i can maintain a never ending series of calls to their numbers, that surely will piss someone off. In the meantime i'll have to rely on my wits to lead them on a merry dance.

If any of the three people who read this dairy live in the UK and are also plagued by these calls, lead them on, get their phone number somehow and leave it in my guestbook or drop me a note, i'll start a list of annoying companies and then start with the auto-oppression, can you feel the wind of righteousness blowing through your armpits, cool ain't it ?

Florida seems to have a special place in the US, i understand from my global virtual wanderings that it's like the slightly crazy half-bother of Texas, all the weird tendencies for curbing free speech in line with the prevailing dominionist conservative strategies, but slightly more sun-touched and so likely to go just that little bit further. The latest idea is that like vaccines, books contain just enough poison in the ink (lead this time) to make them dangerous to children and so children shouldn't be allowed in libraries until each book has undergone a test to determine the amount of lead (about 200 squid per book) and books with high levels of lead should be burnt (thus saving the children until they breathe in the smoke)

I believe that this new law is a federal law and so will affect all the states, I guess it's just surfaced in the news in Florida first, but I like that the idea of burning all the books that aren't the bible still hasn't gone away in the USA, I bet the that the bible will be exempt from this new law. As someone who has worked in the chemical supply industry for printing inks, i can assure you that there's plenty more evil chemicals in printing ink than just lead, which is why they advise people not to try and lick the print off the pages.

(apparantly no-one advises anyone not to lick the print off the pages of a book, but i'd have thought it would make the book redundant)

However, on the the happy side, once diluted and turned into a 'p' on a page the total amount of evil that isn't carbon or water in the ink is pretty much in homeopathic quantities. Just to underline this i rang our chemist for the printing inks division who said that lead-chromate pigments in printing inks haven't been used in nearly ten years, and unless you are an inveterate book sucker, there's no risk to you.

Obviously, if you are over eight years old you will have been exposed to the lead compounds produced by burning petrol that poisoned a generation or two, but as this is old news there's no point in crying about it now, lets move on to the next target, everyone loves a bonfire.

I'm wondering if this law, which was clearly granted wings during the reign of Emperor Bush, has anything to do with the grand plan to keep americans stupid, first you lower the quality of the omniscient television programming until it's understandable in every 19 chromosome trailer park across the land, then you load the press with an editorial slant you can ski down, and then you ban books on the grounds it'll affect the population by making them stupid

Really, because it'll make the population stupid ?

How about Dioxins, they're poisonous, or maybe PCB's, (i know they're banned now) but they're already in the ground and water, so you better ban water and walking on the ground unless you can test it, and how about the nuculer industry, they haven't stopped poisoning people in sixty years and they don't plan to stop now. It's being bandied around the net that Bush has spent 52 billion in 2008 on nuclear weapons which pretty much dwarfs any spending on science or usefull stuff, just think how many books you could test for 52 billion.

Maybe I should test an old copy of a bible for it's lead content, and if it tests too high, burn it on youtube.....

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