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close up - 17.11.2010
i'm not a lumberjack, but i am ok - 05.11.2010
tittewagen - 04.11.2010
bow chika wa wa - 26.10.2010
pointless quaver moaning - 13.10.2010

09.11.2009 - 3:50 p.m.

Cake finally takes Biscuit Shocker

Every 4.8 metric days it's someone's birthday here, and there're only twenty people working on the site, i think some people are making it up in order to smuggle cake onto the premises for nefarious purposes associated with having and/or eating cake, either way it's highly distracting and there're only so many mini eclairs i can eat mid-morning before they start interfering with my normal routine of nourishment ingestion, and i can't or more realistically don't want to change that because food at regular intervals is the only thing that stops me getting hungry and subsequently cranky, and i can't not eat the sandwiches i make and bring with me because that would be like wasting food i've already spent money on which is a no-no


no, no, not this nono, the other no-no

Anyway, all this cake takes the biscuit

[Error 404 - cake-on-biscuit porn not found]

Phwoar, that would be worth seeing, some Batternburg slipping a length into a Maryland Hobnob while the Hobnob licks out an Angel Cake writhing in ecstasy under an Oreo giving some biscuity anal. They say if there is a thing, then there is a porn of it, i'm genuinely intrigued to know if there's someone out there cramming baked goods into themselves and getting off on it, i'd like to know if they feel dirty and furtive or whether they're up front about it and proud to be different, reprezentin' the 1%'ers, yo.

My last set of boots were falling apart so i asked work and they got me expensive new ones (for work obviously) now i can look forward to snuggly warm toes this winter as i shuffle through the snow, and i start three days of forklift training tomorrow, so by next week i may actually be useful rather than sitting here driving a desk and shouting at morons to do stuff, i can jump on a machine and do it myself in half the time with two thirds the moaning, that's a result. Another upside is by the time i return to actual work on friday there'll be three days of internet i can catch up on as well.

I can't believe how many good things are on BBC4 at the moment, i meant to play catch-up over the weekend but we got distracted emptying the loft to find stuff to ebay (is this now a verb ?) and sunday was busy with lying in bed all morning, cleaning that wasn't done on saturday and me doing gardening work for an old lady, so i'll have to catch up on tv over this week.

All a bit pedestrian really, but i like not having a life full of rollercoaster emotions, like any knowledgeable horse will tell you, stable is good. No surprises, no 'curve-balls' waiting to smack you round the head, it does mean i can't pour my heart out every day into the diary with woeful tales of A did this and B did that and then C went around saying that D was a skank and E went home crying, if i wanted to live in a teenage soap opera i.....ok, i can't, i'm too old and too un-actory and would probably look directly at the camera while my slack jaw wobbled a bit as i forgot all my lines, that must mean that it's not my destinyyyyyyy to be dramatic, just boring. I had to scratch that out because J would tell me that i'm not boring because of all my sexiness and motorbikes and drugs and history of maintaining a steady background level of naughtiness with occasional peaks of downright bad behaviour. I guess that doesn't make me boring after all, i wonder if boringness is scalable and on what points would it be marked or calculated to generate a useable chart.

I'm aware that i'm not the person to do this as i've no skill for the scientific and thorough appraisal of factors required to make a good scientist, maybe they should give up on the LHC for a while as it's obviously too complicated for humans to operate reliably, and they could turn their not inconsiderable resources to working out what actually constitutes 'boring' and what's the break-point where boring no longer holds as a descriptor and we advance towards the dizzying heights of 'outrageous' heading then towards 'fabulous', i'm sure there's a great number of scientists, trekkies and normals who would love to cast off the mantle of 'boring' just because they don't like playing sport or would rather sit in front of the telly entwined with their significant other than spend the night in a club or at a glittering industry awards ceremony getting drunk on free wine.

Maybe boring is just another swear word bandied about by dull people with no sense of perspective who want to shout down to people clearly better than themselves, but don't have the vocabulary to express themselves other than barking for pints of stellar or glasses of pinot all night in an attempt to show how happy they are in their inebriation, while the boring people leave the bar at a sensible hour because they already know for sure where they're happiest.

Just saying, that's all.

I just saw the graph below and fuck me gold's expensive right now, do yourself a favour and shop around before selling gold to the wankers who advertise on telly

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