21.07.2009 - 1:46 p.m.

The inevitable has happened, after a lifetime of being described as 'racing snake' and 'scrawny bastard' and not caring a fig about what i eat and how much of it i shovel down my face, life has caught up with me. It's not all doom and gloom, my trousers are still a 30inch waist but i've gained what will probably turn into a paunch in thirty years time, nice.

J mostly describes my physique to her friends as 'ironing board stomach' and to be fair, for the first few years of her knowing me i did have one, but six years of comfortable living and no exercise has scotched that good and proper. I was told in no uncertain terms that until i get back the six pack i'm not allowed to show any part of my torso in the presence of her friends, i can't actually remember if i've got my body out for her friends at any time in the past so i may be safe on that account, but i was told anyway, just for good measure.

So now i'm back to situps every night, twenty a night this week, twenty five next week and so on. I should be up to a hundred a night by mid november and be ripped to fuck, oh yeah.

Today is turning out to be a funny day, despite the fact we've got german auditors running round the place picking holes in everything we do, i think my manager has already answered questions that would otherwise be directed at my face so hurrah for mr manager. I've also nearly finished my hateful OU assignment, it just needs a sanity check and then it's as good as submitted so there's a mini release of pressure until i start the next module, the downside of that is i'm on holiday in august so not only do i have to take my laptop and books with me to do work (gahh) i've only got two weeks to work out exactly what i'll be studying and get the research together to take with me.

Two more assignments and an exam and then i'm freeeeeeee, at some point in mid october or exactly the time it takes me to drive from the exam centre back to my house plus 1 minute i'll be very drunk and slurring happy words at cats.

I am not taking the next course next year under any circumstances, 2010 will be the year i make contact with myself once again, hi there gorgeous, are you going my way ?

baby, i'm going all your way

smashing