28.04.2009 - 1:24 p.m.

The number of commercial diaries on this site is just stupid, half of all the 'recent public entries' i clicked on today were all adverts, what a pile of old dog cocks.

However my latest foray into ebay resulted in an N64 for a knockdown bargain price, once again mariokart 64 lives in my house, absolute magic. I played it on J's boys' wii and those stupid steering wheel controllers were just awful and i ended up with muscle cramp, plus you've got very little fine control over the character resulting in frustration and swearing, fuck the wii, it's only good for wii fit and then only for me wif (i don't care if i'm out of shape because i've got a perma-fit body that doesn't need exercise to be lithe and lovely, although saying that my six pack has been gradually disappearing over the last year or two so maybe i should do some sit-ups ?)

on friday, to celebrate the end of last week we got pineapple juice while shopping and cracked open another bottle of malibu to give two-thirds of an electric parrot cocktail, may seem pedestrian to all yous out there freebasing baby skin, but it's the little things that make the difference, squiffyness followed, fantastic.

it's sad that america can't use real words like the rest of us, all across the media are people referring to F-bombs, P-bombs, C-bombs (you get the idea) what a load of cockshite, and people are actually saying these things with a straight face, like suddenly they've been given a licence to say all these words and they're as happy as a six year old with a shitty stick saying bomb this and bomb that all the while with a stupid grin on their faces.

I saw a preppy news anchor say the word 'f-bomb' and he thought that for that one microsecond of media broadcast time, he was the baddest gangsta that side of nova scotia, when in fact he was a preppy, make-up wearing wanker perpetuating the lamest of lame memes in the hope of making it seem like those overblown news-cocks were actually connecting with people the length and breadth of america, never before has a such a stupid, colony sourced piece of wordy bullshit angered me more. If you're chatting with your mates, you don't say

"and yeah, i dropped this f-bomb on him him, and he, like, totally freaked, and i, like, was whatevarrrrr"

you say

"i told him to go fuck himself"

The boy frequently comes home spewing words not dissimilar to those vented by the dumbest of valley girls, every other word being 'like' 'yeah' 'sortof' and 'literally', because of course Jess literally freaked when she got back her test results and she literally said this to rachel and rachel said 'nuh-uh' and then she literally did something else so fucking inane and stupid that i can't maintain this sentence any longer.

i think disney is to blame (why not ?), those monkey faced, suitwhore shit eaters, churning out their unmitigated screen turds every motherfucking hour of the day, with their mission statement being -

we crave homogeny, our homogeny, the only homogeny you'll ever need

now with a new improved laughtrack badly dubbed over the top of whatever over-hyped, technicolour, zany, fuckwitted bollocks is currently taking place on sound stage F-6 using disney clones alpha-43 through to delta-21, not long now before zack and cody are appearing in an off-broadway gay pantomime playing a couple of broken down ex-actors sucking coke of the cocks of tranny tv executives while raven is taking bareback anal to fund her meth addiction.

i mean look at Lohan now, if that's not an advert for life after disney complete with zany methscapades i don't know what is

oh wait, i do, poor old spears, checked into a hospital suffering with exhaustion ? exhaustion my starfish, excessive drug consumption more accurate, and wait, was she not a disney clone also ? seems like the clones have trouble living outside of the disney compound, i suppose being created with no sense of internal values or ability to self regulate does have its downfalls, like poor old life soldiers who've been decommissioned through PTSD going nuts in their hometown with a rifle because they can't handle the absence of institution.

fuck disney, the board and senior management are probably all scientologists anyway, slags