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i'm not a lumberjack, but i am ok - 05.11.2010
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bow chika wa wa - 26.10.2010
pointless quaver moaning - 13.10.2010

02.08.2006 - 12:34 p.m.

On the privateer Sven, things are not going well. While all at sea a vessel flying the flag of the compound eye and crossed exoskeleton legs tied up while the privateer was in mid party and the defenses were down, and some pirate protozoa and buccaneer bacteria boarded and are currently running amuck, from the initial boarding point they're spreading through the ship day by day, damaging the structure and making a bloody nuisance of themselves.

fucking insects.

i'm well used to fleas and mozzies as i'm one of the genetically tasty people who always get bitten, and they barely affect me now with the itching and the scratching and the gritted teeth, but this little bastard was a fly, although probably not a horsefly, and my salty (about 9g/L) old sea cells don't encounter them too often so it's bit of a learning curve for everyone. All i know is that the initial bite was the size of a fly's mouth and the burning, itching redness 72hrs later is now the size of my thumb and still growing and itching and grrrrgrgrgrrrraaaaaaa.

I may be in the Fridge this saturday night and it's gonna be Huje if last time was anything to go by, miss it and you'll (and I'll) be sorry.

Alright, maybe not sorry, you might hate dance music and the culture that surrounds it, maybe the Kooks and Articular Monkeys and Coldplay are your thing, with the whiny voices and the floppy hair, and the endless strumming and moaning and strumming....

I used to be much younger and also a metal head and even then i thought that indie music was a bit wet-behind-the-ears and lacking in passion, and once i graduated to dance music i then (and still) found that even the most raucous heavy metal just seems to be lacking the depth and colour found in most dance music, there's just not enough going on to keep my mind occupied.

Maybe i've just reduced my attention span to the point where the gap between the notes in analog music is too long to keep my interest. and nothing ruins a good tune like some muppet gasping in the mic.

Actually, now i've thought about that last bit it sounds about right.

Speaking of gasping muppets, has anyone noticed the increase in adverts using breathless sounding women to sell stuff, my pet hate is the M&S adverts with that smug middle class bitch panting out her words. One night last week there was a string of adverts all using breathless women to sell stuff, and it started with the M&S bitch, then one for sun cream and one for some random item i can't remember. The question is why.

I think the answer lies with morons in marketing and lazy advertising agencies. There's a definite lack of imagination in adverts these days, maybe creativity is a zero-sum game, and most marketing departments have men making the decisions, and not the highest quality of men either. I would guess these men think that any breathless woman drooling over their product is a sure fire winner and are more than happy to shovel over cash to lazy advertising agencies to commission the adverts to employ breathless women to drool over their stuff.

On the subject of crap marketing, you can bet your life it was a man who came up with the idea for floral fragranced tampons. That focus group must have been a testosterone heavy, wild party of ideas and concepts ranging from,

1) I want girls to let me go down on them anytime.

2) hmmmm, 'ladygarden', how can we run with that concept ?

3) we need a pointless gimmick for a completely practical item that already sells itself.

4) do you know what would be really funny....

I wonder if this idea will actually reduce sales, surely if you want your pants to smell of flowers you'd stuff some flowers down them. If i ever have a lobotomy, i'm going into marketing for sure.

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