04.06.2006 - 9:41 p.m.

isn�t it just lovely when you sample new delights you previously had no access to ? this new taste leaves you all fuzzy and satisfied and suddenly your basic life expectations have just gone up a notch. I usually use audio equipment to achieve this at great cost, but since I�ve we�ve been cat sitting for someone with broadband I�ve finally been able to download music and listen to online radio

aahhhhhhhhhhhh

I wuv the winternet, it�s gwoovy

I�ve not bought �logical progression� since it�s release because the price has consistently stayed over twenty quid which I think is too high, until I downloaded it from a russian mp3 company for $2 last night.

Not only that but I discovered an internet radio station that supports windows rather than an application I don�t have, and looks suspect when it repeatedly offers to install itself onto my hard drive, and this station rocks out on more channels than I have digits which is lovely, they are known as 1club.fm and are in the usofa (mmmm sofa) chicago I think, but their hard and psy channels have kept me bouncing for weeks, even though the mixing is random and rubbish, but at least they have a tracklist which allows you to pick out choice tunes and then hunt for them over the web to buy or download. Apparently vinyl is already dead and diggital is the way forward from here on in.

Moovin house again as skool is nearly over, two years gone by in a flash of an hourglass. The desire to work becomes stronger as the desire to be educated wanes, the sooner the last piece of work goes in the better, I can�t wait for academia to just bugger off. Saying that, I�m going to miss spending large amounts of time sat on my arse in the sunshine and not having to worry where the next rent cheque�s coming from, aaahhhhhh the heady euphoria of student life.

So if there�s anyone out there who wants a tree surgeon, now�s your chance to get one while they�re hot�

My current lack of work prospects was a little depressing so we went to the zoo and saw some furranimals as well as elefants and lionz. We also got to stroke penguins and lemurs (they feel soft like nylon furred toys) and most of the wallabies had babies, ahhhhh

As I own a sony phone I can use funky effects to liven up what would otherwise be normal pictures, here�s a couple of the better ones�.

I can�t believe how good they came out because it�s hard to see any detail on the little screen, but I was mostly loving the results when they were downloaded. Now this is my kind of camera, and the best bit is, when i upgrade my phone next year i can keep the old sim card in this one and continue to make the most of it, now that�s gwoovy. I thought the monkey one was so good it�s also here as a full screen wallpaper.

Shock Headline time,

Fascist Crane Seen Performing Nazi Salute in City Centre Horror

This crane was spotted by our roving reporter and seems to have broken ranks with its co-cranes and raised its arm imitating a nazi salute. The confusion seems to stem from the red paint daubed over the crane which seems to indicate a communist leaning, however our expert confirms that this may just be a layer of red paint over another, more fascist colour. Another expert raised the possibility that maybe all the cranes on this site could be nazi cranes painted red and that this errant behaviour from one could spark a flurry of arm-raising and chanting from the others. A spokesperson from the construction company was unavailable for comment.

�will this hard-line right wing agenda ever stop flaunting itself so daringly in the public eye� says a frightened passer-by, who continued to spout �I�m stocking up on tins of beans and bottled water just in case there�s a fascist resurgence, I�m a dyed-in-the-wool communist myself and I fear reprisal attacks and cleansing if there�s a swing in popular opinion to the far-right�

More on this story on pages 3 through to 24.

A slow news day obviously