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close up - 17.11.2010
i'm not a lumberjack, but i am ok - 05.11.2010
tittewagen - 04.11.2010
bow chika wa wa - 26.10.2010
pointless quaver moaning - 13.10.2010

24.03.2004 - 12:23 p.m.

Bored, disinterested, looking for a diversion ? Try armed robbery ! you get to use your brain to plan it, you get to use your aggression to carry it out and you get to use your body to run like hell from the Fuzz, ah yes, armed robbery toughens you up, gets you fit, fills your wallet, everyone's a winner *.

*- except the banks, but they're robbing us all on a daily basis, so fuck 'em.

This came around earlier in the year so most of you have probably seen it, but we had a scouse-baiting session in the office this morning and this little fella just makes me laugh, so all together now....

A A A A A A Calm down like, calm down...

Poor old Charlie Kennedy, you get one stomach bug and the whole country starts measuring you up for a casket, he's been in politics for ages and is a genuinely likable politician with no apparant need for virgin blood and so-on that Blair and that new conservative tosser seem to need. But you miss one day 'cos the world's falling outta your ass and you are ( depending on which crappy paper you read ) :

An alcoholic

Dying

Scared of appearing in the chamber ( stagefright )

Too weak to be an effective leader

About to resign

Blair's been jerking us off for years, and now doesn't even care that he's performing U-turns on his manifesto like some kind of deranged seal, and the worst thing is he's probably going to be re-elected ~screams~ No-one in their right mind would elect the tory's, it would be a disaster for the country in general, and unfortunately the Libs are in no shape to tackle Dangerous Tone and his hoardes of marauding wankers, so there we are, smiley fucker gets another term to further reinforce his god complex while the normal people get taxed to within an inch of our lives while simultaneously losing any freedoms we had.

Arse.

Now i've got my stats set up it's time again to see who's watching, ignore this bit and move onto the next paragraph.: BUSH DEATH BLAIR DESTRUCTION BOMBS LONDON AL-AQSA OSAMA MORROCCAN MI5 MI6 HIZBOLLAH SUICIDE NOVEMBER17th

In the face of Madrid you might find the above in bad taste, but this isn't about terrorism, it's about who's monitoring who in cyberland so shut up, how I feel about terrorism is in the next bit.

Ariel Sharon's currently residing in the fantasy land where only old, fat men can go. In this fantasy land, targeted assasination is the only way forward and if you assasinate enough people all the problems you have will disappear like rain on a hot day, this fantasy also allows you to rocket people to death without waves of suicide bombers coming back in their place. Israel has demonstrated such bad judgement in it's dealings with Palestine and the islamic mindset you've got to wonder if he's got a Marvel supervillan advising him.

Islam is a wonderful method of controlling people, it allows you to: a) keep your followers in an semi-medieval ideological state of existance. b) prompt them to sacrafice themselves at the drop of a hat. c) say whatever you like without being questioned. d) demonise anything you don't like and you're guaranteed to have the backing of the people.

The whole Israel thing has been a complete fuckup from the word go and Sharon is not helping now, every time he pushes, the arabs will push back twice as hard, and since arabs outnumber israelis he's buggered.

Prediction time - my crystal balls have been on the fritz for a bit, but I got an engineer out yesterday who says they're fixed sooooo :

The situation in the middle east will not even begin to think about calming down for another two generations ( minimum ). Things will get ( much much ) worse before they get better.

Most devout Islamics quote the depravity and hedonism of the zionist west as the main reason they fight without question, they see secular western behaviour as the very devil himself. They are too insecure/ill-advised/brainwashed to see a world where religion can exist in parallel with technology and alternate religions. There will always be moderates, people who can see the true path without bloodshed, but as in every occasion, these people get drowned out by baying idiots. Oh well.

I have made up a new scale on which to score these world events and the middle east war of religion gets a 9.6 on my Oldfucker-ometer.

In an attempt to finish on a happy note, here's a daft joke :

Word.

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