30.06.2009 - 3:05 p.m.

When the second transformers filim came out in 2007, i waited. I'm a fan, have been all my life, as i don't go to cinemas because of all the tossers you usually find in them, i waited until it came out on dvd, i saw not one trailer, review, nothing, i wanted the experience to be virgin. i finally sat down last year with a copy, cranked up the cinema amp and sub and sat prepared to be dazzled by my childhood heroes, instead is was assaulted by a shitty film with about 4.5 minutes of robots in it being the characters i remember.

The friend who'd lent me the dvd had kept quiet about how shit it was, he wanted me to see the turd myself and understand the full horror of the 'Bay' treatment, i kept looking for good stuff in the film, but in the end gave up, the four minutes or so was all there was. All the potential that could have been made of the history and characterisation was lost in a two hour hollywood wankathon. I've since learnt that Bay only makes wankathons, having had the part of the brain that all good directors have, removed by his own choice on graduating from cinematicaldirectorship college, why he did this we'll never know.

i subsequently saw the pirates film he did, and he also managed to turn that into a mono-dimensional piece of shit, despite having decent actors on set, somehow what came out had no acting in it at all, same applies to 'the island' i've never cared less about a bunch of clothes horses in all my life, and i like mcgregor, i think he's an engaging and talented actor. This leads me to think that Bay is to film making what dementors are to harry potter.

i was initially suprised to see this article in i09 until i read into it further, and then it made perfect sense, and i might go as far as to say insightful, but really i'd like it if Bay would just fuck off, learn how to make a film properly and then never come back (just to be on the safe side). Now we know that he's going to continue the rampaging clusterfuck of shattered dreams by taking the editing room cuttings from the first two films and making a third transformers film from them, oh-hurrah-my-heart-leaps-for-joy-on-the-wings-of-his-incompetence.

So i've decided that i'm not going to pay (blockbusters can get knotted) to see numbers 2 or 3, and will wait until such time as they are given to me by someone else or they appear in �1 bin at tesco (on the basis that if it's being sold for �1 then someone (hopefully the studio) has lost money on it somewhere and my incidental expenditure of �1 therefore counts as zero, skewed economics for sure, but dammit i'm not an economist Jim, i'm a doctor)

And now into the weird world of the creationist (again), i keep coming back here because i'm constantly amazed at the lengths people will go to to maintain their own stupidity. One of the cornerstones of their belief is that all modern science is wrong and only by living in the dark ages can the human race be saved by the mythical sky-daddy from the rapture which will happen tomorrow (or the day after, or the day after that, definitely the day after that we're sure of it, either way it'll be before the end of the month for sure), they say that carbon dating cannot be used by anyone to prove anything because no dates correspond with the number pertaining to the age of the universe that they pulled out of their arse. It seems that the Vatican, the arch-cunts of religion and dominant enclave of peadophiles operating in the world today think that carbon dating is ok (today anyway) because they've found what they think is a piece of an apostle.

A member of the catholic church,
they all have boys on leashes y'know.

Well, we found a bone in a grave that people have said all along contains this apostle, and there was a picture of him (we're 100% sure it is him, without a doubt, all the pictures we have of him all look the same, all these two thousand year old pictures, ok, decomposing scratchings on stone made with organic pigments, but the important thing is they all look the same, case closed) on the wall therefore it must be him, hallelujah. This bone, sorry, bone fragment, will now take pride of place in our trophy cabinet of relics and indulgences from times past, if you want you can buy it for a bitrillion dollars, then you can be holy too.

Good old popey, never one to let facts get in the way of a holy orgasm, "what we've seen today unequivocally shows that this is exactly what we say it is, and we are always right, every time, always, even when we contradict ourselves, we're still completely right and you should do as we say"

Moving swiftly from one hilarious fuckup to another, or Texas as we call it, i bring you - Police State "we'll do whatever we like, to whomever we don't like, because we can, yee haw"

In fort Worth a law exists that you can arrest someone for public intoxication while they are inside a public establishment licensed specifically for the sale of intoxicating substances, this beautiful piece of Kafka-esque law making was brought to you today by the letters "fuck you homo" and the numbers 911 "dedicated to protect" (straight god-fearin' folk only)

Naturally the local redneck, sheet-wearing bastards want to exercise this legislation by going into a bar and arresting everyone for being in an establishment that sells alcohol, whether they were actually intoxicated or not, oh and did we mention this is all set in gay bar ?

"well it makes no difference, they could have been intoxicated and we had to go in and sort them out, we can't possibly allow this sort of public nuisence to continue, it was only a matter of time before they held some kind of liquored up arse parade"

This completely normal execution of police time also happened on the anniversary of the Stonewall riots, but that, y'know was a complete coincidence, that we raided a gay bar for no reason on this anniversary that's a coincidence, just because we hate the gays and think they should burn.

completely rational

I think all the stupidity in the US is gathering at the bottom and sort of slopping about, so the relative density of density and ignorance in the southern states is getting higher year on year.

God bless america