15.01.2004 - 2:19 p.m.

Ahh the heady smell of excitement, it fills my blood with a longing to, to, tooooooo, oh never mind.

Managed to fall off my bike this morning for the first time in ages, admittedly the road was covered in ice and the tyres on my bike being only an inch wide and racing slicks do not afford a great deal of grip. Luckily, as the front wheel slid away from me in slo-mo 'bullet time' I glanced down at the road and seeing it was a bit too unforgiving used the last of my momentum to leap sideways into a large bush of lavender where I landed on my back and slightly upside down. Also luckily, none of the passing motorists stopped to help, probably because they were laughing so hard they couldn't see me through the tears in their eyes. Still, it brightened up an otherwise boring morning.

Can someone explain to me the Italian Work-ethic ( if there is such a thing ) ? My supplier in Italy seems to have no concept of 'logistics' or 'proactivity' or 'best-service' ( I know the last one is a buzz-word but it still applies ) so I'm left to patch up the end user while trying not to look like an inept fool.

In the paper today, a researcher at Newcastle Uni has said that in comparison tests between users of MDMA, and straight people, there is a 'slight but measurable impairment' of memory performance in the users of MDMA. You heard it here first ( unless you read the paper this morning ) if you go to clubs and get cained beyond the envelope of your mind, you will suffer a slight impairment in memory the morning after and for a period after that. That is of course depending on whether you: a) have higher brain functions at all after a handful of magic beans b) can actually see c) if you can see at all, you're not just looking a grid of black dots hovering in front of your eyes d) you have anything to remember other than a mish-mash of images and captured scenes overlaid with the most memorable tune of the night.

And now something you'll not see in american papers tomorrow:

A gentleman of Sudanese extraction was pulled over at Heathrow Customs when they found 5 rounds of assorted ammunition in his coat pocket, he boarded a flight at Dulles airport where it would seem the US authorities are doing a bang up job of pushing people through metal detectors which would find a pocket full of bullets. So much for shouting about air marshalls and US impunity in matters on terrorism, the truth is the US authorities are in a complete state of disorganisation on terrorism, the politicians default to noisely creating initiatives and setting targets rather than actually do something, and airport security is left just as lax as it's always been. Nice.