13.01.2004 - 12:36 p.m.

More fun than shouting latin haiku's at strangers

Jaguars in the jungle apparently sometimes chew the bark of the vine Banisteriopsis Caapi to get completely spannered, the claim is that they do it ( like the indigenous peoples ) to dislodge gut parasites which are overwhelmed by the seratonin-like chemicals contained in the bark and let go and die, handy explanation but i'm sure jaguars like being mashed as much as the rest of us. The downside for everyone except the jaguar is you then have a 300lb jungle cat tripping it's whiskers off, everything it used to do ( like avoid humans, avoid making a scene etc ) goes out the window and in comes more exciting things, picture a kitten on catnip except with 3 inch claws and the ability to drag an antelope up a tree for something similar, exciting times in the Jungle, yeah.

So it seems that parasites and suchlike can't take heavy doses of seratonin-like chemicals ? a man in a white lab-coat said that just as it interferes with our brains and makes us a bit loopy, it also seeps into the bugs, but being so small their body and brain can't handle being flooded with neurotransmitter type chemicals and it kills them, what a way to go.

Does this also mean that regular attendees to the church of the Cainer are also less likely to suffer with intestinal bugs-of-evil ? I feel a survey coming on. I'll admit that over christmas I didn't smoke any herbage and lo and behold i got a virusy thing, once I started smoking again ( I always smoke to clear a virally throat-headache combo, loads better than begging antibiotics of the doctor ) virusy thing left me alone and hasn't been seen since, hmmmmm.

People who impress me ( no. 1 in a possible series of some ) - Cheryl Stearns, she's a free-fall loony, a sky-diving psychopath and she's going for the record for an altitude jump. The record currently stands at about 102,000 ft by some hard-arse US military type, some time next year she'll get into her open gondola helium balloon and float up to 130,000 ft and then jump out, from up there she'll be able to see the curvature of the earth and nearly the whole of the continental USA. Just for comparison, a transatlantic flight cruises around 40,000 ft and the altitude record set by the SR-71 spy plane is about 86,000 ft. Once she's falling she expects to reach mach 1 in about 50 seconds and could go on to around a 1000mph but because the air's so thin it'll only feel like she's falling a few miles an hour and it's quite serene actually. -- Nuff respect. That's something I'd love to do but have doubts that my balls are big enough to carry off, can't think of anything more beautiful than just hanging around at the edge of space looking down at the world sat in my basket swinging my legs back and forth like I'm on some kind of super-swing, magic.

On a similar note, once I'm stupidly wealthy I'll be getting a private license for a fast jet ( F16 would be nice but MIG 29 is prettier - and easier to buy ! ) and spend my time zipping about the sky, definitely the best way for a rich person to waste time. I'll start a Paypal donations thingy next month it'll only take a 1 pound contribution from every person in the USA and europe to realise my ambition, come on people, 1 pound ( 1.2 euros / $ ), it's not alot, think how happy I'll be, I'll even come and buzz your neighbourhood if you like !