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bow chika wa wa - 26.10.2010
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31.10.2003 - 12:41 p.m.

In the land of the blind the labrador is King, no ?

I'm still deep in the land of flashback at the moment on account of being too lazy to make up new material or go out and do some research for new material, and my life is not metropolitan or exciting enough for me to regale you with humourous stories of my existance.

I caught the end of Top of the Pops and was dismayed to see that manufactured pop bands are still roaming the earth unchecked, and they are still cutting corners with their songwriting. It doesn't bother me that they can't actually fill a song with words that fit without wailing intermittantly / continuously but means I can take the piss soooooooo it's over to Steve Wright :

And now the latest manufactured teeny-bop one-hit wonder smash, crash, in-out of the charts so fast it'll make your head spin frommmmmm,

AtomicwonderspicekittenHbeyoncethepale

( walk on four almost identical twenty year old women in revealing catsuits ) ( or mariah carey / witless houston.... you get the idea )

whoaoaoaoooaoa he's left me whaoaoaoaooooaoooaoaoooaoa, he's such a bastard wooaooooaoaoaoa, howmi gonna live without himmmmmmmmmmwhaoaoaoaooaooaoaoaoao.

(chorus)

he's such a bastard whoaoaoaoaoaoaoooooo, now he's left meeeeeewhoaoaoaaoeeeeeeee, whaddamigonnadoooooooowhoooaoaooooa.

so now I'mgoinoutwith my girlfriends whoaoaoooaoaoaoaoaoao, whoohaoaooooaoaoaooaoaoaaooaaoaoaooa, whooaoaooaoaoaoaoaoaoaoaaoaoaoaoooooaaaaa, cos thatswhatfriendsareforrrrrwhoaoaoooaoooaoaoa.

(chorus)

he's such a bastard whoaoaoaoaoaoaoooooo, now he's left meeeeeewhoaoaoaaoeeeeeeee, whaddamigonnadoooooooowhoooaoaooooa,

ifyousee himm whoaoaoooaoaoaoaoaoaoaoaoa, youknow hesa rat whoaoaoaoaoaaaaaoaoaoaoa, you stayawayfrom whoahhaoaoaohahahahhaaaaaa, you do as i hwhahiihhoaoaaaaaaaaaoooooooiiiiiiiii.

Ridiculous eh ? Either make a song with words that fit beginning to end or don't have any words in it at all, but this bastardised half-n-half just makes you look like fools of the highest calibre. And for God's sake cheer up, sing about something happy for once.

And in case you were wondering what the sky news will be for this weekend -

And now, the weather with Franklin Deveroux DeBois,

The weather outlook for 31st October to 3rd November on the top of Ben Nevis is as follows:

Friday will be a broad day with some sharp angles in the morning, these should clear towards the mid-afternoon leaving behind a warm fuzzy feeling of self-importance, in the Highlands, the wind will meander between the mountain peaks until it finds a way out, the temperature will waver somewhere between absolute zero and four million Kelvin for most of the day

On saturday, a small front will wander in from the west bringing with it some light showers and happy music, this should pass by lunchtime and become a soulfull wail about lost love, the afternoon will be sunny, about 9 degrees celcius with occasional treacherous thunderstorms causing sheep to lie down , by nightfall these storms will find contentment in the platonic love with a high pressure system from northern siberia, aaah.

Sundays weather will be falling vertically downwards until nightfall when the fallen weather will start rising upwards until it has all gone.

Monday will start fine and clear with some light cloud and early birdsong, throughout the day rain will push in and the birdsong will become guitar based Death-Metal with an industrial twist. Once the rain has passed we will all see clearly now, the obstacles that were in our way will be visable and highly avoidable, in summary, tree-tops.

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