29.10.2003 - 2:01 p.m.

David Attenborough has done more for British TV than any other single person and he�s been rightly praised for it, but throughout his long career of illustrating life on this planet he ( and most of his contemporaries ) have missed a major limb of the evolutionary tree which has been growing and mutating for a very long time on human scales. ( although rightly insignificant on geological scales )

On the news last night was some political hack expounding the background to the Tory revolt against IDS, and he was repeatedly describing the backbiting and infighting as �brutal�. So we now know that this pointless hissyfit is �brutal� in political terms, and he went on to say that IDS was part of the group that backstabbed John Major �brutally� in that leadership challenge so he should know how the game is played now that someone else is doing it to him, ha ha.

As he was waffling on, the clouds of confusion parted and the sunshine of realisation bathed me while a thousand tiny seraphs blew on their tiny trumpets to the tune of heavenly understanding :

Politics is superfluous

And not just that, it is also pointless, ignorant and insulting. Oh and one other thing :

Politics is not brutal, the Circus Maximus was brutal, Politics is brutal like the ultra-camp boyfriend of the bastard son of Julian Clary and Ru Paul just discovering he�s got no bubblebath.

The political bitching that goes on day after day after day, filling the 24hr news channels with the same headlines hour after hour has absolutely no impact on the day to day running of the country, none whatsoever, nil, nada, zip.

The civil service runs the country, lots of very boring people being responsible to make sure buses run, roads are swept, taxes are collected, nurses are paid etc. The dirty great smear of Politics over the top does not make the whole thing work, If we vaped all the politicians off the planet ( please please please ) the country would not grind to a halt, the civil service would keep things going, and probably do a better job of it unencumbered by party directives and worthless initiatives.

The only way to survive in Politics and rise to the top is to be more egocentric and maniacally machiavellian than everyone else, and the one with the biggest ego floats to the top and then spends the rest of the time worrying about who�s going to try and topple them. It�s one big popularity contest ~~ but only amongst other politicians ~~ no-one outside of Westminster in the �real world� TM gives three fucks which tosser is flavour of the week / leader of the pack / chief biscuit topper ( ah the public school system ).

So Politics is redundant, there is no need, there is no point, the only reason it�s still going now is because it�s been feeding on itself through an evil form of self-sufficiency for so long that on-one can see the edges to find where to start.

Back to my original point : the taxonomic branch that has given rise to Politicians is a dead end, it can�t evolve, there�s no-where for it to evolve to, all it can do is keep producing political type automatons to fill the gaps left by the dead. All those spotty youths sat in the crowd at the annual speeches will be doing exactly the same in ten or twenty years as the fat, self serving fucks we have now. But if you were to pre-empt the situation by slaughtering them in the street it�d be you who ends up before the Beak, it just doesn�t make sense. If Mr Attenborough were to do a �life of Politicians� we would know for sure that they are an evolutionary cul-de-sac and doomed. We could start re-organising the social hierarchy to something that serves the people rather than fuelling the massive and unending tax-guzzling gravy-train, that exists only to transport the greedy wankers to their fur-lined coffins.

Don�t even get me started about the MEP�s��